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Substitute In Flames arc

Why Do You Eat It?

"....I'm going to slit your throat in your sleep..." Ahatake groaned. He looked in the mirror, and he was wearing a minorly frilly, maid outfit, complete with a headdress and leggings. His face was tinged with red, and he noticed this outfit seemed to make him look more feminine. He was far from pleased. 

"On the plus side..." He turned to Gaikou. "I managed to force you into that." He smirked at the outfit she was wearing.

"Son of a...!!" Gaikou was NOT amused. Right now, she was wearing a black, backless dress that reached down to the start of her thighs, which has a short white button-up collar at the neck, and white, fluffy sleeves that stopped just before her shoulders. The dress had a pink ribbon just below the collar, and a pink French Maid's apron was tied around her waist, starting just below her breasts and ending just before the end of the skirt part. What was amusing to note is that the outfit had no concept of 'cleavage covering'; that is to say that what covered her ample bosom was basically a small amount of fabric in a straight line which worked similar to suspenders that looked like a star, concealing her nipples. There are three 'straps' covering her back; but basically, they held the outfit together- if anyone just touched it, it would likely fall off.

The bottom of the skirt had small black flower like patterns on the edges of the skirt and on the inner part of it; though it was obvious that it covered basically nothing at all; easy to see up, especially counting her 'higher-than-the-average- height of Gaikou. It could be seen than she worse racy red panties in addition to a black garter belt with purple thigh-highs. Holding her hair in a long ponytail was a light red ribbon. Her body was practically steaming in embarrassment; she was so tempted to floor Ahatake with a spinning kick at this moment.

Ahatake started moving fast, snapping pictures with a camera phone from various angles, even slipping under her skirt to snap a photo before tucking the phone safely away, chuckling evilly. "Consider that payback for making me wear this." He gestured to the outfit he was wearing. Next to the one Gaikou was wearing, Ahatake's suffering seemed minimal. Then again, crossdressing was damaging to his pride.

Harumi entered the room, and stopped dead at the sight of Gaikou's outfit. "I-I'm sorry, wrong room." She turned to walk away.

Gaikou applied her palm to her forehead in exasperation. "Argh....this makes me want to kick your ass so bad your kids will feel it. Feel it, I say!"

"You can't really complain." Ahatake shrugged. "You were the one who was so pumped to force me into this." Once again, he gestured at his own maid outfit. "And apparently, we're not stuck running a maid cafe. Suck it up."

Gaikou clicked her tongue in annoyance. "Touche." She scratched her head. "...You could say that we're both getting the worst of it, huh..."

"You know this is your fault?" Ahatake flicked her forehead sharply, however, then he caught a view of himself in the mirror and walked over to look. "Hmm...well....I...I think I make this look work..."

Harumi suddenly started roaring with laughter. The very idea of Ahatake thinking he made a maid outfit work was hilarious. Though...she had to agree, he did look rather feminine in it.

Gaikou dodged the blow and she chuckled in addition. "The fact that you think you're hot shit in a maid outfit? Well, some of my cousins can do way better than you, so THERE." She crossed her arms haughtily, before walking off...well, her ass (albeit covered) was visible. It wasn't a charming sight. 

Ahatake growled. Not that he would say it out loud, but he'd much rather prefer she say he was fabulous than laugh at how he was dressed. He sighed, and followed her out. Their classroom was going to be serving as the maid cafe and...the prices were much like extortion, to say the least.

Gaikou thought to herself, "Ehehehehehehe...who knows, this could be fun. I want to see that boy squirm..." she was so sadistic at times like this, even more than neccessary.

"You're getting a kick out of this." Ahatake could read her face. "Not that I care, seeing you show off your assets is just as pleasing."

Gaikou turned around, pulling a face at the young man. "Bleh! I hope you choke." She...wasn't happy.

As they headed back to the classroom, Ahatake was...actually relieved to see it was empty for the moment. Less of a crowd meant less people gawking at him. "Wonder how big a crowd we're gonna have for this?"

Gaikou roughly estimated, "Probably a lot." That wasn't very helpful, though. She was...really bad at math. "Just be glad that it ends soon; we won't have to suffer...much."

Sadly, Saotome chose that time to walk in, and took a look at Ahatake and Gaikou in their maid uniforms. "Hello what have we here?" He looked from Ahatake to Gaikou, back and forth, and walked over to Ahatake. "Hello, I've never seen you bef-" He didn't get to finish the sentence, as Ahatake slammed his knee into Saotome's groin.

"It's me you dumbass."

Gaikou did get a slight chuckle out of this, watching this spectacle. "Ahahahahaha, oh you're fun to be around." It was like she was getting her jollies off of his suffering; just like a certain other person.

"Just wait." Ahatake grumbled as they started to set up the cafe. He went to grab the freeze dried food that was going to be part of their specialty, and looked at them. "These things look so odd..." He took out one and bit it. "And they're rough. Gaikou, try one." He tossed her one of the freeze dried foodstuffs.

Gaikou looked at it with a bemused, yet curious expression. "...Huh." Though, she didn't seem to have anything against it. She took a bite; it wasn't too bad- kinda sweet, but also kinda salty. "This isn't that bad." Her eyes began to glow for a moment- everything became incredibly colourful as she began to freak out. "I can see...NOISES!"

Ahatake smacked her upside the head, grumbling about "idiocy" as he took the rest of the freeze dried food and looked it over. "Honestly, I think it would be better cooked, ya know?" He asked, brushing hair out of his eyes. "It was a bit rough to chew, and I'd rather them enjoy food than focus on us..."

"T-that's not the point of this place..." Saotome grumbled from the floor. Ahatake kicked him in his sides.

Gaikou was honestly thinking that joining in with kicking this jerk would be a good idea, though she restrained herself. She immediately began to ponder whether or not to scrap this batch of edibles, or keep them in just to ensure people would feel the same euphoria she just did. "....Hmm, how about we keep them? They're not that bad... Everyone's tastebuds are different, you know."

"Oh come off it." Ahatake placed a pot over the stove they'd managed to install into the classroom (specifics were vague, though many questions had been fired at the teacher), and started to boil some water. "It's not like we have a whole bunch of time anyway and maybe they'll taste better cooked."

Gaikou was serious. "No, you 'oh come off it'. Think about it. We'd be a success! ...But I see your point..." She seemed downcast. Actually, she just wanted to get high.

Ahatake placed some of the foodstuffs into the water to let them boil. "Let's just leave those to their devices. No one's here yet, we should have plenty of time." 

Gaikou sighed; though she stashed several remnants away in her bra. "...Good point, moving on!" She began to leave; though she was quickly stopped. "How much time, do you think? Because, I have much to do." Pause. "A little bit of work." Another pause. "Okay, I'm just going to go home and play videogames."

Ahatake grabbed her shoulder. "The hell you are. You're stuck here with me."

Meanwhile, outside, Kayla seemed to be on the schoolground blacktop, overlooking what appeared to be a fighting ring. " this the site?" She asked, looking over at one of the upperclassmen.

The upperclassman seemed to roll his eyes. "Yeah, I'll tell you hw'ut. Dang it Kayla, you can't just walk in here uninvited. But I'll tell you hw'ut; that's the place." His voice was oddly amusing.

Kayla was left...speechless. "Um...judging by the accent, you're probably from Texas back home. And I thought I had it rough learning the Japanese, an upperclassman like you is still wet around the edges...anyway, just tell me what this is?"

"I'll tell you hw'at. Yeah." That was...anticlimatic.

"A martial arts tournament as an event at the cultural festival..." Kayla frowned. "This must be a first, but who the heck has money for this?"

"The student council is incredibly rich...they can afford almost anything, I'll tell you that. No...I'll tell you hw'ut. They can do whatever they want, since they rule the school." Talk about incredibly powerful student councils, this one is overdone.

"Ridiculous." Kayla frowned, scoffing at the notion. "However, competing could be fu-"


The sound came from their classroom.

Why Do You Eat It? Act 2

"What the HELL!?" Ahatake hissed as something seemed to be emerging from the pot. A demon? He couldn't tell, but it wasn't human and it wasn't a Hollow either. "What the HELL is this!?"

Gaijou peered over Ahatake's shoulder. "...Oh hey, it's a demon. So..." it dawned upon her. "I could have eaten demon penis. Wow."

Ahatake, once again, smacked her on the back of the head. "Can you keep focus for like a damn second?" He frowned, and kicked Saotome in the side. "Saotome, get the heck out of the room!" The boy didn't need telling twice and quickly ran.

" do you want to handle these?" Ahatake asked Gaikou as the beasts continued to merge from the pots. "I don't suppose they're edible...and I can't become a Shinigami without that blasted glove."

Gaikou sighed and manifested her gauntlet. "Easy. We blow it up." She charged spiritual particles within her gauntlet, and prepared to unleash a blast that was strong enough to supposedly destroy it, but not leave any evidence.

Ahatake held her hands down. "Use your brain, woman! We're in the school building. Unless you want to blow a hole through into the next classroom, and kill a few innocent people? Let's get the heck out, and destroy them when we evacuate people from the building to the quad!?" It seems Ahatake did have a brain in there.

Gaikou pouted at this. "You do indeed have a point. Let's do that, then." While she wasn't pleased at all; there was nothing else she could do besides follow Ahatake's lead. 

Naturally, Ahatake grabbed her arm and started running, heading right out the door and down the hallway. Only the demons rose from the pot, making clacking and growling noises as they started a chase.

"...Well...can't say I didn't see it coming.." He grumbled.

Gaikou felt like she was being treated like an animal- being dragged around like this. "L-Let go of me, you damn idiot! I am NOT a dog-hey!" she was smacked in the face by an open door, though she did manage to catch up to Ahatake just as quickly. "...Damn idiot...When can we blow it up? My trigger finger's itching."

"Be careful what you say." Ahatake told her. "You might just wind up on a leash someday." His thoughts drifted to how he actually wouldn't mind seeing that, especially with her in her current outfit, and his nose bled a little.

Gaikou teased Ahatake, "You're thinking of something naughty, aren't you? I can tell; I have psychic powers." That was complete bullshit.

"Yes, and I have a basement with your na-I mean, stop lying woman!" Ahatake had let something slip out. As they continued to run, they tried to evacuate the rest of the humans, which proved very easy when they saw the strange beasts following them.

"So..whatever these are, normal humans can see them easily. They must be corporeal on some level.." Ahatake mused.

Gaikou deliberately ignored Ahatake's first comment and reasoned, "Then if they can see them, they can fight back. Saves us some trouble, don'tcha think?" This...logic. It was lacking. "But you know what this means. We can attack them without using our proper weapons!"

"We're currently running through a school building with demons chasing us!" Ahatake snapped back. "Do you think conventional hand-to-hand is gonna be worth much!?"

Gaikou sensibly replied, "Well, yes, actually. Any human is capable of taking down a demon, trust me on this one.  You just have to be..." she paused for a moment, stopping in her tracks while throwing a pipe at one of them, causing it to dissipate. " creative!" Of course throwing a goddamn pipe wasn't creative.

One of the oncoming demonic creatures spit acid onto the pipe, quickly proving Ahatake's point.

"And now you see my point. Now, let's lead them to the roof!" He ordered, and picked up his cellphone out of the apron pocket, quickly dialing a number. "Harumi! Bring yourself up to the roof! What do you mean why!? What the hell....k-kingyo-sukui!? Get the hell up to the roof!"

Gaikou ignored this and smugly told Ahatake, "Seems your friend's a bit slow on the uptake."

"Not like you can talk!" Ahatake called back, running up a flight of stairs. "You place 21st in our class, don't you? Not much going on in that head."

Gaikou easily caught up and backhanded him. Hard. "Shut yer mouth. I only need to know the vital things; every other piece of knowledge is useless trivia."

As they ran to the roof, the demons followed, no doubt attracted by the duo's strong spirit energy, and they burst through the door to the roof, panting as they made a stop. Ahatake groaned. "I really hate this outfit." However, now wasn't the time to complain, as the demons broke through the door and walls to make it to the top of the roof.

"Tch...." Ahatake growled. "Drop dead!" He sent a fireball hurtling towards one of the demons, but they simply deflected it. "Son of must be immune to heat!"

Gaikou yelled, "Dammit, stupid idiot! The hell do we do now?"

"You wait for me!" Harumi called out as she climbed up the roof, jumping over onto the surface and running towards Ahatake, smacking him upside the head and knocking his soul out, allowing him to become a Shinigami.

"Ya know..." He said, unsheathing his claymore-like katana. "It's getting damn inconvenient waiting on you to become a Shinigami."

"Just shut up and get in there." Harumi snapped. "Gaikou, watch his back?"

Gaikou nodded. "Got it!" She manifested her gauntlet once more, grinning crazily. "Hell yeah! My trigger finger's been itchin'!"

Ahatake charged through, cutting the demons in half with their sword. "I always always told not to play with my food, but mother never said a thing about killing it!"

Gaikou launched a powerful blast at the demons, destroying small batches of them at a time. "...Ya know, I'm thinking we need at least one more team player. Us three, plus, the redhead, doesn't quite cut it nowadays..."

"How...cute!" Ahatake chuckled, struggling to match blade-and-limb with one of the oncoming demons, chopping it's arm off, watching the blood spray as he cut it in half. "Gaikou wants a boyfriend." He ducked as a demon swept above his head, aiming to take it, and sliced it directly down the middle.

"He's getting better..." Harumi thought to herself. "I'm surprised..."

Gaikou snapped at Ahatake, "Tch, it's because we need a little extra muscle with this kinda crap! Plus, according to any Super Sentai, there needs to be five members!"

Ahatake flipped his hair, and it cast a beautiful effect against his skin, sparkling even, as he made a charging slash through several of the demons, their blood only further adding to the glow Ahatake seemed to exude. Such kills were...fabulous. "I think you watch too much television."

Gaikou squinted at this. "...I think that I'm damn right, when I come to you, so THERE."

"Either that or you wish you could do what I do." Ahatake grinned, and one of the monster's actually made a nearly successful hit, but missed, just barely, cutting off a few strands of his long hair. ".....You don't cut the hair..." Ahatake actually seemed to be very angry with this, swinging his blade absentmindedly and releasing, unconsciously, a massive amount of reiryoku that destroyed about seven demons in one fell swoop.

"Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if you secretly drove on the left hand side of the road, if you know what I mean..." She sighed; another blast of energy destroyed even more demons. 

"And you're a dyke, now shove it." Ahatake replied, slashing about three additional demons into sashimi. "Friggin' bastards! YOU THINK MY HAIR WAKES UP GLISTENING LIKE THIS!? IT TAKES WORK! AND NOW I HAVE SPLIT ENDS!"

Gaikou laughed at this. "Ahahahahahaha...Ohh you're an odd sort. But I kinda like that, you know." She blasted even more, rapid-firing in order to take packs down at a time.

As they dwindled down their numbers, Ahatake collapsed onto the ground, looking tired. "I...I think they're all dead. What the hell was the point of that?"

Gaikou withdrew a book. "Possibly some fodder that we needed to take out. Wacky hijinks!"

Ahatake cut her book in half. "Stop reading, dammit, no one in this generation does that anymore."

Gaikou rightfully pointed out, "And that's why you're all a bunch of idiots."

"Here's my question..." Harumi frowned. "...what the hell were they, and how did they get here?"

"That is something to wonder..." Ahatake groaned as he stepped back into his body. "'s sad when they baggy kimono is easier to move around in than this maid outfit."

"...You're all a wierd bunch, you know that? But that's what I like about you all. We're all individually quirky. It's why we fit together well." Naturally she ruined the moment. "But I'm smarter than you all."

"Not according to your grades." Ahatake chuckled. "Anyway, I may as well head down and clean the café. We do have customers to service." He shuddered at the idea. "Well, at least I'm cute. I'll see you down there!" He called as he dashed off.

Gaikou was about to chase after him and beat his bishie face into the pavement, twitching. "...Damn prissy asshole...!"

"Oh, it's you two!" A cheerful voice called out behind the two girls. Harumi turned around, looking like she was about to strike...and stopped. "Oh, it's just you, Kōyuri right?"

The girl smiled cheerfully. "That's right. Nice to see you remembered me, Harumi-san." Her eyes drifted to the stairs. "So, Ahatake-kun went back down to the café?"

Gaikou took a few steps back. "That is indeed true." She didn't like the 'scent' of this girl. "...If you'll excuse me, I've got to go...pack for something."

"Oh, Gaikou-san..." Kōyuri moved closer, wrapping her arms around the girl's neck as she pilled out a hand mirror shaped like a heart. "You have something on your face. Here, look?"


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